Jake's latest check-up

Jake had a check-up yesterday with his cardiologist down at Texas Children's which included an echo and then meeting with the doctor. He was perfect for his echo as usual--he's become a pro at lying still for the technicians. Our visit with the doctor left us with mixed emotions. The membrane on Jake's heart has begin growing again, but this time it is growing slowly it appears. It was originally found one year ago this month and by last May it had grown exponentially and was considered to be a moderate to severe risk. They don't necessarily measure the risk by the size of the membrane but by the amount of pressure it is putting on the aortic valve. He had the surgery in July to remove the membrane, but the surgeon did not get the entire membrane due to the closeness to the electrical system of the heart. A month after surgery it had already begun to grow and now 3 months later it has grown again. What does this mean? More surgery...

The doctor is hoping since it is growing slower this time that we will be able to wait several years for the next surgery. She believes the next time our surgeon will have to take a more aggressive approach and remove the membrane by the root. This will entail creating a defect in the heart, or a hole, and then patching it back again. Of course we asked why that didn't happen back in July. The answer is it would have created more problems than he started with before surgery. The statistics are somewhat unclear, but in about 30% of sub-aortic stenosis, these membranes are persistent and do grow back. The next surgery will also have a greater risk of having to install a pacemaker as well as doing a valve replacement. We will go back in 4 months for Jake's next test. The doctor felt if we went back in three months, enough growth wouldn't have occurred, but in her words, six months "scares her."At the next check-up, if more growth has occurred, they will send Jake home with a portable EKG machine that he will wear for 24 hours. Apparently, damage to the heart's rhythm can also happen in this process.

So...in the meantime, we're to watch Jake for any symptoms--in his case, his main symptom seems to usually be profuse sweating--and call the doctor back if we notice this before we see her in four months.

Obviously our first line of defense when we hear news like this is to be in prayer. I want to have the faith to believe that God can just remove this membrane so Jake won't have to endure another surgery. I do believe he CAN do it, but I'm struggling believing that He WILL do it. I find that my prayer is for God to A) take the membrane away or if that won't happen, then to

B) have as little of damage as possible so the next surgery will not be too complicated. I feel like it's almost hypocritical to pray that way though. It's like I'm saying, "God I would prefer this, but also this would work..."

This fall I've been doing a Beth Moore study of Daniel with some ladies from church and this week ironically was on Daniel 9 and Daniel's prayer to save Israel. We discussed how God already knows the answer to all of our prayers because he doesn't have a past or present; He is the great I AM. The question asked in the study was why do we pray when God knows the outcome already?? Beth presented the possibility that God seeks a relationship with us and prayer is such a vital part of that. Daniel had an intense prayer life and an incredibly close relationship with God. I guess I'm struggling with how to pray though this situation.

I'm sorry this post is so heavy...I am just digesting yesterday's news and decided writing might help me think through everything. Jake is an active two year old and busy as ever. When I'm with him on a daily basis, I forget he has this chronic problem and then we visit the doctor and are reminded.

If you have any thoughts on my prayer dilemma, please share...And, also we ask that you please just remember Jake in your prayers and ask for God to just intervene!